The Pink Ninja Showdown
by Ninja-band-aid
Summary: L and Light are having a ninja showdown- but who will emerge the victor in the end? L x Light if you hold your head to the side, squint, and maybe stand on one leg and hop a few times.


Two figures met. A barren field- empty for miles around; no cover, no place to hide. Brown plain earth stretched without a blot, the horizon an all-encompassing line, marking the end of everything in the entire world. Not a blemish anywhere, save for two figures.

They mat on opposite ends, one hundred yards apart from one another. They stared down one another across the space. Eyes narrowed behind full black ninja jumpsuits. The color was rendered useless by the brown-earth and grey-sky world around them. There was no hiding here, and no missing one another. They were in this together, a fight to the death. No escape.

The wind rolled over the plane, picking up a small dust flurry as it swept through, kicking the fine, dry particles into the air and making them dance in a spiral. It dusted through the gap between the two men, the air frigid and sharp. They froze in their thin fishnet and fabric, but neither twitched.

A moment of absolute standstill. And, then…

They lunged! Simultaneously, the two ninjas rushed each other, covering the ground in scrolling-shot speed, breakneck and fleet-footed in their tabi shoes. And when they had only the last few yards to cover, they leapt, kicking off of the ground and into the air, knees bending and stretching like grasshoppers. Each drew a blade, and the katanas clashed in the air with the sound of ringing bells and the scent of sparking steel.

The men spun for a moment, swords scraping against one another as they spiraled, and then finally coming apart as physics remembered what to do and yanked them back to Earth. They landed gracefully and began running, circling one another- sharks and vultures. Animals of prey, each hunting the other, ready for the bite and kill.

They jumped and met again, this time the swords hit just above the hilt; they were so close now that they could knock white-gripped knuckles and feel the heat and moisture of each other's breath. Their gasps and pants raised clouds in the dry, cold air, standing out against the frost storm colored skies and dissipating into wisps and curls as the heat died.

A painfully loud clang and both swords shattered- ice in their owners' hands. One split in half, sliding apart while the other cracks in three places, too far gone even to swing. The useless weapons were discarded.

A light dusting of precipitation started to scatter around them now as they met again, on the ground now. The shards of rain turned into ice as it struck the ground, shattering and splintering and making the dirt slick and treacherous.

Each produced nunchuku and began to whirl them, lashing and striking. They danced for a time, in the ice and the rain, soaked and only kept from ice by the heat from their exertion, chains and wooden handles singing through the air and lashing.

For what seemed like hours they moved. And then, finally, a dull, painful, _thunk_. A wooden end met its target, striking fabric and hair and skin and skull, jarring the afflicted man, making his body tremble and stars dance before his eyes. He gasped and fell.

His knees struck the ground, hitting ice and forcing him to slip, falling to one side. Thunder crashed, but the temperature was dropping now, enough to turn the rain to white crystals, snowflakes falling, dusting the ice in a white blanket, masking its dangers.

With a satisfied "_hunh_," sound, the second nin crossed his arms, striding lazily up to the fallen foe. He slicked a short blade from his waistband and trained it to the concussed man's throat. He sank slowly to his knees.

"I suppose this solves all of our mysteries," he said in a low, confidently listless voice, muffled by his mask- a mash which he used his free gloved hand to remove, pulling it from his head. Black hair sprang free and spiked. "Eh, Light-kun?"

The black-haired man slinked his blade up the side of Light's face, ripping the fabric. It fell away to the frosted ground beneath Light's head and blew away in the wind that swept his blonde hair. "Ah- L…!" he gasped with some difficulty. He eyes narrowed at the man above him. "You… bastard."

"Naughty, naughty Light-kun," L admonished, pressing the tip of the blade tauntingly into his temple, enough to dent the skin with only the threat of drawing blood, "Watch your language."

L smiled- a rare and valuable sight. "I have won this game, clearly," he announced. His enemy snorted.

"N-not until… you've… killed me…" he managed with a wheeze.

"I disagree," L shrugged, "We have seen who is superior. I outsmarted you mentally and outfought you physically. Where is the question? I've won. A killing blow would be superfluous."

"Coward," Light accused in a smiling cough. L rolled his eyes.

"Very well then," he agreed, standing up and drawing the blade back. He raised it above his head, too in a deep breath-

"HIYA BOYS!" squealed an unnaturally feminine voice. L's concentration slipped and he looked around. Light could have attacked, but missed the moment, equally held captive by the sight before them.

A female ninja- CLEARLY female- dressed entirely in pink. Her mask featured a bow, as well as two holes in the side where she had pulled through blonde pigtails. Both men dropped jaws.

"Can I play?" she asked cheerfully, rushing towards them.

"Misa!" gasped Light, sitting up slowly, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh you left the door to the virtual reality room open, so I just tagged along!" she pouted beneath her mask, "You looked like you were having fun! Are you dancing?"

L relaxed into a casual slump. "Miss Amane, how nice to see you."

She glanced back. "Oh hi, Ryuzaki!" she trilled, "Why is it so chilly in here?" She shivered pointedly.

"Just a winter ninja game," he shrugged. "…why don't you play with Light here? The room can be anything you would like." Behind Misa's back, Light was frowning, making dramatic throat-cutting motions to L.

"Oh that's a great idea!" Misa squealed. She closed her eyes and screwed up her face for a moment, fists balling up- and then all three ninjas were in a Parisian street, the Eiffel tower in the background, the scent of baguettes rich in the air. "Oh my GAWD!" the woman cried with a smile. She repeated her motions and she was suddenly wearing a pink mini-skirt, a striped off-the-shoulder shirt, and a pink beret. "Oh. My. GAWD!" she repeated, clapping her hands with delight.

Light looked about ready to stab himself with his shrunken. L looked almost amused. "Well," he said finally, "I think I'll just leave you two to it." He reached up to his head.

"L! Wait-!" gasped Light. But L was already gone, poofing out of the virtual scene as if he had never been.

"Come on, Light," Misa gasped, yanking him to his feet, "Let's decide what YOU'RE going to wear!"

L chuckled to himself as he put away his virtual reality helmet and left the room, hearing nothing but Light screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as the door locked behind him.

**The End**


End file.
